You are not surrendering your will or yourself. What you are doing is gradually seeing what is holding you back from Allah and lifting those barriers with Allah’s help one by one. You are giving up these characteristics or these qualities that you attribute to yourself.
Who gives you these attachments? Didn’t Allah give you these attachments? But your job is to use your head and see that everything including yourself and what you have and what you do not have belong to Allah and not to you. The sooner you accept this fact, the sooner you reach the goal. At the end you have to detach from everything including the process of detaching, especially the pronoun you attributed to yourself “I”. Each time an injustice happens to you or some hardships fall on you, you do not like what is happening and you start blaming Allah. But if you bear with patience, Allah will increase your capacity of understanding and your love. Some people want paradise of Allah. But these are the people who do not have any understanding of Allah’s zat [essence]. Their relationship with Allah is limited to their five senses. They are superficial, on the surface, not in‐depth of knowing Allah. So what do you want? Whatever you want Allah will test you for your sincerity. Are you going to hang in there or tuck your tail and run away?