Language of Communication

Language of the Recipient

You carry messages to the other person so make rabita and talk their language like the Prophet (peace be upon him).

And We never sent a messenger except with the language of his community, so that he could explain (the message) clearly to them. (Ibrahim:4)

A good Shaykh talks the language of their people. When one talks to a drunk, be the drunk. If one talks to a dancer, dance. If one talks to a singer, sing. Make rabita and you talk like them.

Language, A Tool of Communication

When you are communicating, how do you communicate better?
1. Find out their language.
2. Communicate as a teacher.

How do you teach? By doing it and practicing it.

How do you teach language?

First they have to hear the word, they have to hear the sound. Then, they have to repeat the sound. Afterwards, you have to write it. Finally, they have to see the word and then write it and practice it. They have to see the word in at least five sentences or five examples before the pin drops in someone’s brain. So it is visual, audio and hands-on.

Speed of Communication

Also, when communicating, your manner of speaking is important. Are you talking too fast? Your brain can understand only 23 words per minute. If it is more than that, if it is 26 words per minute, then they cannot get it.

Feedback

Make sure they are understanding or else they are sleeping. If they are sleeping, ‘kick’ them.

Get feedback. But the feedback should not interfere with the message, especially when you are the Shaykh. Some people do not like the message and you can see it in their body language. Whether they like it or not, it does not matter, your job is to give the message as it is.

How to get feedback? By asking questions. By body language, including facial expressions and eye contact.

If they are bored, then you are not giving it in a way they can take it. Speak faster or slower or raise your hand, etc. Just watch how the Murshid gives speeches: perfect! You have to work on these things.

Tell My devotees to use the best, most kind language, because Satan incites conflict among them (when they use harsh words). There is no doubt that Satan is a clear enemy to human beings. (Al Isra:53)

How to improve our communication

What prevents us from communicating better?

You are the one who wants to go to Allah, the Shaykh is responsible for you, not for anyone else. So you have to be better people. What prevents us is our ignorance, emotions, presumptions, intentions, etc.

Instead of saying no to your Shaykh, say no to your nafs [ego].

The Shaykh wants you to be better people whom Allah can trust. Allah should be able to trust His knowledge, it is an emanet on us. Allah wants some people that He can trust.

In reality, We had offered the Trust to the heavens, the earth and the mountains. They all shied away from bearing it, and were afraid of it. But human beings accepted it. (Al Shura:72)

This is an edited excerpt of the Online Saturday Sohbet given on November 24, 2007 by Murshid Shaykh Taner Vargonen Ansari and published on sufiview.com on May 31, 2021. The translation of the Qur’an verses are also from Murshid Shaykh Taner Vargonen Ansari.

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